October 2015, Edition
Refugees Flee Violence



by Rose Lima


Wedding are complex events that require careful planning and knowledge of proper etiquette, to insure that this major lifetime event leaves fond memories, and not nightmares.


Some common questions that have to be answered are: Is the bride arriving late part of a successful ceremony? Should guests confirm attendance or simply attend on the scheduled date and time? Can invitations be sent by email? Can I bring flowers and candy home?


If these questions are not addressed, they could turn into major gaffes in a wedding.


Invitations – Elegance and delicacy is in the delivery of invitations to the people with whom the couple wish to share in this important event. If guests live far away, make sure the invitations arrive in time for them to RSVP (respond). If time is short, you may have to send by a private delivery company or by speedier mail options at the post office. 


Guest Response – It is awkward when guests do not confirm or decline their attendance. This information is very important for the bride, groom and party organizers. Knowing the exact number of guests that will be in attendance allows for better planning for the event.


Delay of the ceremony – It used to be fashionable for the bride to be late for the ceremony, however, this is no longer seen as glamorous but rather, as a lack of consideration for the guests and a disruption of the ceremony.


Gifts – Requesting gifts is always awkward. The ideal solution on the part of the couple is to have a gift registry with varying prices (doing this at the most expensive stores is a completely reprehensible attitude). Pricing should be accessible to all financial levels of your guests). Use stores that are easy to access, local or online, that offer this kind of service, thus avoiding asking for gifts that can generate a lot of discomfort for the groomsmen, maids and guests.


Asking for money – If, for some reason, a couple wishes to raise money for a trip or something specific, asking is not proper. If you need to rely on sponsors to do this, you should ask in private, not make a demand.


Embarrass guest with gift requests – It is not possible to know the financial situation of all guests. It is embarrassing to them if you ask for expensive gifts and they are not in a position to purchase them. Wait for them to ask what you need.





Do not bring wedding presents to the reception – If you cannot or do not give time to deliver to the  bride’s house before the wedding, deliver it to the home of the bride’s parents the day after the wedding, or to the house of the couple after they return from the honeymoon.


Taking people who were not invited – Guests need to understand that catering charges are “per person”. When you receive an invitation extended to the family, only the members invited should attend the event. If the invitation is for “Mr. and Mrs.”, only the couple should attend the ceremony.


Inadequate clothing – Moderation and elegance is what is expected of guests. Women should never wear dresses in white, too short, or low-cut. For men, the normal rule is to wear a suit and tie. Please, never appear at a wedding in  shorts, jeans, tennis shoes….this is crude and disrespectful to the event.


Fight for the bouquet – The throwing of the bride’s bouquet is a tradition expected by women who wish to marry, but remember that the common game of pushing and shoving can be dangerous and is very inelegant.


Not attend ceremony and attend only the reception – It is extremely awkward not to attend the ceremony, but show up at the reception. If you are really committed during the time of the ceremony, it is important to tell the couple and make sure that they are comfortable with you only attending the reception to greet them.


Taking party details and sweets home – Do not take home reception details, flower arrangements, table decorations or wedding sweets, no matter how beautiful they may be, they are not yours. Imagine if the bride and groom have to bear the loss of the items that were taken? Hmmmmmm………….very inelegant.!!!


Greetings – Remember to greet the bride and groom during the wedding reception and thank them for the invitation. That is almost a requirement of guests. If you need to leave the reception early, do not just walk out. You can go to where you greeted the bride and groom before if they are there, otherwise, look for them before you leave.


Finally, follow the rule that never fails: do not point, yawn, scratch, poke, or stretch. This applies to all!!!!

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